The 07:42 record
Specific, timestamped, and deeply inconvenient to the defense.
Cross-examination
Present your case.
The court will now determine whether breakfast occurred or whether the defendant has been tragically unfed since the beginning of time.
PROSECUTION EXHIBIT
What proves the cat ate?
PRELIMINARY RULING
The court is listening.
Counsel Pupa is preparing several objections and one devastating slow blink.
CASE PENDINGEvidence locker
Three troubling exhibits.
The prosecution has facts. The defense has a tiny wig, complete confidence, and excellent eye contact.
The polished bowl
Licked clean. Counsel argues this merely proves commitment.
The defendant's face
Objectively innocent-looking. Potentially enough for reasonable doubt.
Defense strategy
The three-part appeal.
When documentary evidence becomes overwhelming, Counsel Pupa recommends escalating to another human.
Deny breakfast.
Maintain that the alleged meal was merely a pre-breakfast administrative snack.
Redefine “portion.”
Argue that anything visible at the bottom of the bowl was legally insufficient.
Appeal to roommate.
Find a less informed judge and reopen the matter immediately.
— Counsel Pupa, Attorney at Paw
Final ruling
Breakfast happened.
The log wins.
The defendant is sentenced to waiting until dinner, with eligibility for one reasonable treat.